Installing a GPS somewhere on her bodyIron bars on her bedroom window
Multiple deadbolts on her bedroom door
Customized polyester loose fitting pantsuit
If you have any connections with how I can take care of any of the above, please, let me know.
As for BigBoy, he turns 20 the first of September. Not any particular milestone there, leaving his teen years, the year before he is legal. Here again, we have surely been blessed with a good young man. So next year there will be two milestone ages reached by our offspring: 16 and 21. Whoa.
SuperSpouse is one year younger than I am and likes to remind others and me....which I quickly respond that the maturity and wisdom shows...on me! I always tend to look ahead to what age I will be next year and next year is the BIG one for me, 5-0. Gulp. I don't like it. I feel like a tweener, not the ones that are not quite teens but not little girls, no, the ones that aren't seniors but not young either. Yeah, yeah, I know, you're as young as you feel. Don't go there, with a total knee replacement on hold, degenerative disc disease and going through the big M on the early side, I feel more like, well......not in the sunset of the 40s! Funny thing, when worse your back gets, the stronger gravity becomes...I drop everything. I can't even call it midlife, how could that be, how many people do you know that lived to be 100? Huh? No, I probably am well past midlife, that kind of came to mind just yesterday. Just what is it like? First, it requires Penzoil motor oil in to keep that silky sheen on your legs and feet. I may as well bathe in it. Forget eating, just smelling the food causes you to gain weight. The memory. What memory. I tried to be nice to an elderly man: he hit on me. Even I know it sounds stupid when I use the cool words, the young people do. The clothes: not old enough for the shoes like nurses used to wear, can't walk in the younger, hipper ones. You don't really want to know any more. The good thing is, by my age, you don't give a crap anymore what anyone thinks. The offspring, they are still plenty young enough that I can embarrass them.
Here's a tip for those of you that would be purchasing birthday cards for our family next year. Go down to the section for milestones: 16, 21 and 50. For SuperSpouse, buy a whole bunch of cards about gas or bulldogs and you're good. He will enjoy them all. Please, hold off on the cane, prune juice, reading glasses and denture cream for me, but if you find a good deal on a case of motor oil......