Memoriam

Today marks six years of a large void that began in my life with the passing of my mom. It certainly has become easier on a daily basis and life continues on heartily, full of blessings galore. Yet, it is amazing how quickly I can begin weeping in sadness. Not sure if grief describes it. Void describes it best. There will always be a large hole in my life that will not be filled. It was her place and only memories run across that barren space somewhat like a movie screen showing home movies. Often I think in situations, "What would mama say?" Usually, it's a humorous quip that comes to mind or a clear expression on her face still so familiar. One of the best feelings was seeing her standing at my front door, holding a basket with something usually early Christmas morning to witness grandchildren discover what Santa left, at difficult times during VolleyGirl's babyhood or just to visit. Simultaneously wierd and wonderful when I make a comment or gesture that is just so her. I may be alone in liking my hands a bit rough-just like hers. Always held her hand before kissing her bye and leaving her room. All I could say, as I bid her final good-bye was, "thank you, thank you, thank you"! Thankful my kids remember you. In memories, you really live on. I know you live, there. If I'm half the mom.